“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, articulate, spectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s merely an investment tip from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life guidance. Seriously, consider my perspective.
When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, a large portion of the fang-bearing creatures that populate Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same sly, self-aware comic sensibility regarding the hazy boundary separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and as I age, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.
Understandably, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we were limited to a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and boasting snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay inserting themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s original usually receives all the accolades, thanks largely to its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of high regard, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.
As I got older, new insights enriched repeat viewings, heightening the enjoyment of watching diminutive verdant beasts joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp has more heart than his actual-world equivalent.
The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a genuine “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the actual feature in progress. An edit for movie houses, one for VHS and TV, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only made me love it even more.
When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was surprised to find that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it furnished was necessary to thin out my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.
Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s robust worldly wisdom from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.
Astrophysicist and science communicator passionate about making complex space concepts accessible to everyone.
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